Ever since S got back from London, he’s been dragging me into every Marks & Spencer store we go past in a hunt for the ever elusive squeezy bottle of mayo he fell in love with. On the 23rd, I happened to find one, and decided to throw it in with his Christmas presents. He loved it, and for lack of better place to put it after unwrapping, left it on a shelf next to my bed.
That night he told me he didn’t need a shower, then after I took one, decided he wanted to smell good and clean too, then after I got him a towel, he discovered he had one in his bag after all.
After waking me up to turn off the aircon, open the windows, put on the fan, and then waking me up again to turn off the fan, open the windows, and turn on the aircon, he nudged me when I was on the brink of sleep. I was just getting ready to punch him in the gut, when he winked at me, pointed at the mayo and said:
Time to get REAL kinky, babe.