• Me: I watched a dumb Ben Affleck romcom with the girls. Can't sleep.
  • S: You Ben Affleck lover
  • Me: I don't like Ben Affleck. I'm all hot and can't get comfy and my head hurts and I'm getting annoyed with my own complaining
  • S: Your body is rejecting your love for Ben Affleck
  • Me: Oh shut up.
  • S: Hi, this is Ben Affleck. Just wanted to say thank you for supporting my movies. You're my favourite fan. All the best in the new year. Yours, Ben.
  • Me: Idiot.